New standards for masculinity are stacked against men’s health

This is Optimizer, a weekly newsletter sent from Verge senior reviewer Victoria Song that dissects and discusses the latest gizmos and potions that swear they’re going to change your life. Opt in for Optimizer here. Whenever the algorithm serves up a steaming pile of looksmaxxing, I flash back to an old sketch from That Mitchell and Webb Look. An ordinary woman is told by a commercial narrator that she’s “leaking, hairy, aging, overweight, and everything hurts.” Women, the smug narrator says, for god’s sake, sort yourselves out by buying roughly $300 of products. After a jump cut, an average man is told to shave and get drunk, guitars blaring in the background. The reason? Because he’s already brilliant. Back when that sketch first aired in 2009, it was funny because it felt broadly true. But in the age of looksmaxxing, where men are increasingly obsessed with testosterone, smashing their bones in pursuit of a sharp jawline, and optimizing their penises, that sketch feels like a glimpse…