My big, fat, technophobic cat

My cat Pablo is a voluptuous boy. His primordial pouch, originally thought to protect cats’ squishy insides, hangs low and wobbles to and fro. Once, when he was five or six, a vet sternly sat my spouse and me down, gravely stating, “He’s simply too young to be this fat.” Pablo didn’t care, but we were traumatized. Now that he’s 10, the vets have repeatedly scolded us. All 20 pounds of his rotundity, they say, cannot continue. The specter of diabetes and kidney problems, and the fact that his obesity combined with a too-small pee-pee hole increases his risk of urinary crystals, mean that a diet is urgent. I hear this every year. I keep saying “We are trying!!” The vets say, “Try harder! There are plenty of gadgets and toys you can use to stimulate enrichment, manage food, and encourage exercise!” What I don’t think the vets understand is that the state of pet tech is simply no match for Pablo. As with humans, the key to weight loss in cats is a strict calorie…