A semi-scientific account of what makes me happy and/or what happiness makes me do, etc

I like to record what happens. It feels wrong that life goes on in all its concrete splendor, and there’s nowhere I can get an official record of what it was. It feels crazy that it might just not be knowable what happened on a particular evening in 2016. I want to be able to know, at least a bit. Relatedly, before bed I do ‘logging’: I write down what happened in brief, my mood on a 1-9 scale, details of drugs I took, afflictions that beset me, and a few other things. Elsewhere I record how much productive stuff and work on my literal job I get done. An upshot is that I can empirically check how my mood relates to various things, such as the mention of different words in the day. Some things that seem to go with being happier: Mentioning my boyfriend (conditioned on the period we have been dating) Taking vitamin D Taking ibuprofen Basically doing work is better, except 1-5 poms of work is worse than none Antibiotics (this is the best ‘drug’ according to my records, in spite of my felt experience that it is entirely neutral - I wonder if the end to wondering if I’m about to die of a UTI and/or feeling like I’m maybe about to die of a UTI is cheering) Having a migraine (!) (they tend to be mild, but still) Having some other kind of headache (!) Having fewer overall afflictions (I’m an affliction snob, I only like headaches) Interacting with some of my friends The word ‘flight’. Yeah, I love airports I guess. The word ‘bike’. (Or I just love going places?) Various sexy words ‘Read’, ‘singing’, ‘cafe’, Going to Constellation (contrary to my impression) Mention of two different specific hated work projects ‘AI’ (this is very surprising, but I guess doing work makes me happy). Apparently I have not once mentioned ‘Claude’ or ‘GPT’. Some things that don’t seem to make me especially happy, contrary to some expectations: antidepressant dextroamphetamine acetaminophen b12 not having my period (if I had to guess, while periods are characteristically upsetting and painful, the more they are that, the more I let myself off the hook for everything else, and overall I selfishly enjoy pain and upset more than guilt and obligation. I suspect this is also what is going on with headaches on the above list.) therapy brunch Some things that seem to go with being less happy: naproxen alcohol (I wonder if I drink more often when I’m unhappy - my internal experience of alcohol is often very positive) Interacting with some of my friends (even ones I think I enjoy spending time with, probably this is at least somewhat because I seek them out when unhappy, but admittedly I’m also a recluse) ‘alone’ (this is quite surprising to me) ‘party’ (this at least matches my anticipations, though I have the impression that I often like parties when I go to them) ‘uber’ ‘derping’ ‘SF’ (aka San Francisco) seems to be one of the worst things to happen, but thankfully n is quite low, so it’s also too early to say ‘Berkeley’ is also bad though ‘Dominion’ (the fun game) ‘Hot tub’ (a thing I claim to love, I think we need a larger sample size) Discuss

Text integral sub licența deschisă a publicației · 252 cuvinte